Go On
by JenLea
Summary: Sequel to SAND AND WATER Five years after Randy's passing, John struggles to move on all while falling for his best friend. COMPLETE!
1. Probably Wouldn\'t Be This Way

Go On

_Probably Wouldn't be this Way_

Disclaimer: I own no one!

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"Lance, are you sure Rhiannon's okay?" John Cena-Orton mumbled, speaking into his cellphone. He was trying to navigate his way through the unfamiliar streets of St. Louis.

"She's fine. In fact, she's doing her homework. Want to talk to her?"

"No thank you. I'll call her later,"

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to find the cemetery. After I see him, I'm flying to New York. There's something I want to see,"

"Are you crying?"

"Of course not," John's voice dropped. He WAS crying. Lance couldn't know that, though.

"Whatever you say, John,"

"It hurts," he murmured, turning into the cemetery. "I gave him nine years of my life. I loved him. Why did he have to die? Why?"

"We always wonder why God allows us to meet our soulmate, only to have them taken away. I wonder every day why God allowed me to fall in love with Darrin, only to have to watch him suffer a terrible fate,"

"I'll call you from the airport,"

"Bye," Lance hung up.

_Five years, he's been gone five years. I thought we'd be together forever, _he thought, glancing down at his commitment ring. The simple silver band hadn't left his hand since their commitment ceremony over ten years ago.

_I, John, take thee Randall forever and for always. Our life will be bonded as one for all eternity._

_I, Randall, take thee John forever and for always. Our life will be bonded as one for all eternity. _

Wind began to blow through tree branches, causing them to snap softly. Somewhere in the distance, a dog barked. John was confused. How could a place be so loud and yet so quiet? It didn't seem possible.

Randy had always been there. Two vastly different people, they had managed to intertwine their lifestyles to form a loving and lasting bond.

Randy had been the more feminine emotional man. John had been the masculine 'I could care less about my nails' man.

Yet, despite their differences, they had loved each other.

"Hey, Rand," John murmured, gently tracing the engraved lettering with his index finger. "I miss you so much, Babe. You wouldn't recognize Rhiannon. She's about five foot six, tall. She's turning into such a beautiful young woman. Her hair is SO long. Last time I saw her, which was yesterday, it's down past her bottom. She braids it every day. I'd let her cut it but she doesn't want to,"

A young couple passed him. John could feel their eyes drilling into him. They thought he was crazy. Who were they visiting? Why was it so strange to see him talking to his deceased husband? What was so weird about that?

"Rhiannon hasn't forgotten you. Lance and I made sure of that. We talk about you every chance we get," he said.

"Rand, I have a confession,"

The wind blew harder. John took it as a sign that Randy was there and listening.

"I think I'm falling for Lance. He's been there for five years. Everytime I needed him, he was there." he murmured. A branch snapped off. John took it as another sign.

A man approached the grave. From a distance, John wasn't sure who it was. As the man got closer, John realized it was none other than Bob Orton.

"John?" the older man asked, baffled. John closed his eyes. Bob was thirty years older than Randy, which meant the man was sixty-four, going on sixty-five. "What are you doing here?"

"Visiting Randy. I do it every year around his birthday. I've never been here on his birthday, though because of Rhiannon," he replied. Bob looked at him.

"What do you mean?" he asked. John sighed, realizing Bob had no clue what he was talking about.

"Our daughter, Rhiannon shares his birthday," he said. "She was born on his twenty-fifth birthday at nine-seventeen AM,"

"I would love to meet her," Bob commented. John nodded, knowing it would never happen. Bob couldn't be bothered with her when Randy was alive. Why should he bother with Bob Orton now?

Then, he realized he was no better than Bob Orton. He was his daughter's grandfather. If he wanted to start a relationship with Rhiannon, John wouldn't hold him back.

"Maybe we could arrange something," John murmured. He sighed, kneeling before the grave. " Bye, Rand," He kissed his St. Joseph medallion. It hadn't left his neck since Trish had given it to him almost ten years ago.

Then, he walked towards his car, bidding silent good-bye to Bob.

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This is chapter 1 of the final in the Sand and Water trilogy is up! I hope you enjoy this story as much as you've enjoyed the other two.

JenLea

Read, review but most of all...ENJOY!


	2. A Visit to an Old Friend

Go On

_A Visit to an Old Friend_

Disclaimer: I only own Rhiannon. I own no one else.

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Glancing up at the high-rise, John shook his head. He hadn't been there since Randy died. Preparing to walk through the door, John couldn't help but remember the first time he had ever walked into the building.

_Our first home together! Isn't it gorgeous, C?_

_Yes, Rand, it is. I know the real reason why you were so insistent on living in this apartment._

_Why, C?_

_It's Trish adjacent. Now, you can just go down the hall to gossip, instead of calling across the country._

_I do not gossip!_

Things seemed so carefree then. They had felt invincible. Nothing, it seemed, would ever seperate them. The future had seemed so clear. They had had big dreams.

Chris and Trish were expecting him. Since leaving the country five years prior, John had kept in touch with his good friends. They had visited him and Rhiannon on more than one occasion. He hadn't been in their apartment since Randy's death.

Life had taken the Canadian couple on a strange journey. After having Rhiannon, they had struggled to have a child of their own. After two more miscarriages, they had gone to China and had adopted a baby girl.

Lian Reese had been adopted at the age of six months. She was now three years old, the mischievous child. She was the apple of her parents' eye.

John stepped into the elevator. Pressing the button for their floor, he remembered when they had lived there. They had called this building home for two years. The only reason they had moved was for Rhiannon. Yet, they had always intended to come back to the city they had loved so much.

The door opened, and John got out. He walked down the narrow corridor, pausing at the door of their old apartment. Shaking his head, he continued on.

Stopping in front of Chris and Trish's apartment, John made a fist and knocked softly. Within seconds, the door opened.

"John!" Chris Irvine exclaimed, hugging his old friend. John glanced at the other man. Chris had been his best friend for a good thirteen years.

"You haven't changed a bit!" John exclaimed, grinning. Chris rolled his eyes.

"You only saw me six months ago! Besides, I know Trish sent you pictures," Chris said. Lian ran in. Chris scooped her up.

Uncle John!" she exclaimed, reaching out for her godfather. Chris allowed John to take her.

"Hi, Li!" he exclaimed, kissing the young girl's cheek. "How are you?" She squealed with laughter.

"Mommy's having babies!" she exclaimed, laughing. John glanced towards Chris. The other man gestured to the living room. John maneuvered himself through the apartment.

Trish sat on the couch, eating strawberries. John's eyes flew to her belly. She looked about full term. Catching sight of her old friend, Trish grinned.

"John!" she exclaimed, shaking her head. John placed Lian on the floor. Then, he hugged Trish. "Surprised?"

"Who is this?" he asked, gently touching her belly. She chuckled.

"THEY are Randi Jade and Ryleigh Keith," she said. John's eyes widened. Ryleigh had been his back-up name during Trish's pregnancy with Rhiannon. Well, Randi was kind of obvious.

"Twins?" he asked. She nodded vigourously. She could hardly contain her grin. Catching a gleam of silver, John glanced at her wrist. He was surprised to see she still wore the ID bracelet he and Randy had given her after Rhiannon's birth. "When are you due?"

"Dr. O'Carol's giving me a c-section tomorrow afternoon. Are you going to be in town?" she asked. John nodded. He had been planning to go home, but now he wanted to see Trish through her delivery. "Great. Could you stay with Lian?"

"Of course! She's too cute. Randy would have loved her," John murmured. Trish nodded, wiping her eyes.

_Great, I got her crying! _he thought. Trish dabbed her eyes with a tissue.

"I wish he was with us. He was always confidant that my dreams of being Mommy would come true," she said. Reaching behind her, she handed him a framed letter. Sitting beside her, he held the frame and began to read.

_6/12/06_

_Dear Trish,_

_Finally, I have a break! Rhiannon just went down for her nap. Who knew two year two month and eleven day year olds were so exhausting?_

_Thank you for calling me about your latest miscarriage. I wish I could have been with you, Sweetie. I tried so hard to get a flight, but John's grandmother got sick. He had to be with her, and I didn't think bringing Rhiannon would have been fair to you._

_Sweetie, you will become a mother. I promise you that. With all the love you have to give, God will make sure of that. I have faith in the divine, despite how the divine has hurt me._

_I know I can say nothing to ease your pain. Feel better, Trisha._

_Love, _

_Randy_

"Babe, Li and I are going to get pizza," Chris murmured, the door closing behind him. Trish glanced to John. She could sense something was wrong.

"Spill it, Cena-Orton," she said, rubbing her belly. Rolling his eyes, he sighed. Trish was always able to tell when something was wrong.

"I think I'm falling for Lance," he blurted out. Trish sighed. She had seen this coming years ago. In fact, she had expected it.

"Do me a fav," she said, looking at him seriously. He looked at her. "Get the picture of me and Rand taken at your wedding," Getting up, John handed her the picture. She removed the back and handed him an envelope, yellow with age. "Read that when you're ready,"

"Alright. Anything else?" John asked, sighing. He had always known Randy had more letters out there.

"Yeah, I'm your new neighbor. We bought the house next to Lance's house and we're moving as soon as Randi and Ryleigh can travel,"

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Revelations, revelations. Don't worry. Rhiannon appears in the next chapter. Promise :)

JenLea

Read, Review but most of all...ENJOY!


	3. Revelation

Go On

_Revelation_

Disclaimer: As usual, I own no one except Rhiannon

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"Oh my God, look at you!" John exclaimed, hugging Rhiannon. "You cut your hair!" Her long blonde hair was now just above her shoulders. She had taken off a good four inches of hair AT LEAST.

"Daddy, how's Auntie Trish and Uncle Chris?" she asked, noting her father seemed in a better mood. Before he had left for Missouri, he had been mopey and distant.

"The proud parents to Lian Reese, Randi Jade and Ryleigh Keith," he said.

Rhiannon was nine years old, going on ten in the matter of a week. She was five foot six with now shoulder-length blonde hair. Her emotional blue eyes had belonged to Randy. Like him, John was able to tell how she was feeling by the look in her eyes. She was a normal pre-teen girl except in one aspect.

She hated the color pink, and she preferred black.

"Sweetie, interesting outfit," John said, glancing at his daughter's outfit. She wore loose black jeans, a baggy black t-shirt and black combat boots. "Where's Uncle Lance?"

"By baggage claim," she declared, taking John by the hand. She pulled him through the crowded airport. Shaking his head, John had to smirk. Her mannerisms, the little things she did...they were pure Randy.

Lance stood by the luggage carosel. John had to divert his glance, as those familiar feelings bubbled up. He gently squeezed Rhiannon's hand. He had to admit these feelings soon.

"You look great," Lance murmured, hugging him. "I got your luggage," He gestured to the two suitcases. "What do you think of Rhiannon's new haircut?"

"I was stunned. Not that you don't look pretty, Dear. When and why did you cut your hair?" John asked, gently running his fingers through her hair. She giggled.

"I got tired of having Uncle Lance or you take an hour to brush it. Now, it only takes five minutes!" she laughed. "Did you see Papa?"

"Yes, I did. His grave is still as nice as ever," John replied. Closing his eyes, John realized something was up with Rhiannon. She had only started dressing all in black a few weeks back. What had led to this drastic change in his little girl?

"Daddy, can I go to Madison's house?" she asked, referring to her best friend. John sighed, knowing she always felt better when she was with Madison.

"Sweetie, why don't you invite Madison to our house? I'll make your favorite," Lance said, glancing knowingly at John. Rhiannon grinned.

"Pizza burgers with sweet potatoe fries?" she asked. He nodded. She hugged him. In her mind, Lance was awesome. She was right. He WAS pretty awesome.

"She's growing up so fast," Lance remarked. "Do you ever think about having another one?" John sighed, before nodding slowly.

"I love her so much. Some days, I would love another child. Other days, I miss Randy, and can't imagine why I would ever want another child. On those days, my mind tells me I'm acting as if Rhiannon wasn't good enough," he said.

They drove home in relative silence, only stopping to pick Madison DeWitt up. The ten-year-old was Rhiannon's best friend.

"Hello, Mr. Evers," Madison said, glancing at Rhiannon. "Hello, Mr. Cena-Orton. Was that right?" John covered his mouth and tried not to snicker.

Lance was also acting very strangely. He seemed distant. He seemed irritable. John couldn't figure it out. What was wrong?

After they got home, Rhiannon and Madison ran to her bedroom. Lance sat down, in the kitchen. He sighed, pouring himself a glass of wine.

"What's wrong?" John asked, watching Lance. The other man sighed.

"I'm betraying Darrin," he said. John didn't quite understand. What was he talking about? "I vowed to never love again,"

Shaking his head, John sighed. Lance couldn't have fallen in love with him. That would have been an incredibly odd coincidence.

"What?" John asked, gently touching his hand. Lance sighed, dabbing his eyes with a paper towel.

"I've started to move on... and it scares me. I don't EVER want to have to go through the pain of losing someone I love," he murmured. "John, I've fallen madly in love with you,"

"So have I," the words were inaudible. Lance understood. Then, he leaned forward and hastily pressed his lips to John.

The world melted away. Years of emotion were revealed in one kiss. Both of their uncertainty was in the kiss. It was undescribable in every way possible.

"It's about time!" Rhiannon exclaimed, walking around the couple. John broke the kiss, and glanced at his daughter.

"What's that supposed to mean, Rhi?" he asked, ruffling his daughter's hair. It would take a while, but John would get used to it...EVENTUALLY.

"It was too obvious," she said, going back to her bedroom.

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I'm loving this story! Don't worry, it's far from over! Enjoy!

JenLea

Read,Review but most of all...ENJOY!


	4. Rhiannon

Go On

_Rhiannon_

Disclaimer: I only own Rhiannon! I own no one else.

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John sighed, standing outside Rhiannon's door. Now was the time to get to the root of her problems. Something was bothering her. It was obvious.

"Baby?" he called, slowly opening her door. Rhiannon quickly shut her diary, glancing up. She smiled, before getting up to allow him space to sit down. "Can I come in?"

"Of course, Daddy," she said, clutching her old teddy bear, Squishy McSquishSquish. "Have a seat," He sat on the foot of her bed. Then, he faced her.

"Do you remember how you got Squishy McSquishSquish?" he asked. She nodded slowly, as if she was unsure. John knew she barely remembered. It was obvious.

"Barely," she admitted. John sighed. She was definately Randy's daughter. She was just like him, from her mannerisms to her facial expressions. There was never any doubt whose daughter she was.

"You were three, and all you wanted for Christmas was a giant teddy bear. Now, we lived in a SMALL town. We drove an hour to get you this bear, and we couldn't find one. So, after I went to sleep, Papa wrote us a note and went off to New York. He was only gone a day. He spent three hours on a plane, got you that bear and came back. On Christmas morning, you were so thrilled with that bear. You said 'He Squishy'. So, I remarked, 'Why don't you name him Squishy?' I will never forget this. Papa looked at me and said 'no, he's Squishy McSquishSquish'. I couldn't figure who was more thrilled with the bear, you or Papa." John explained. "Sweetie, what's been bothering you?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, clutching her teddy bear even tighter. John sighed. How was he supposed to approach this topic? 'Sweetie, I think you've gone crazy?' Taking a deep breath, he began to speak again.

"Rhiannon, you have never worn only black. Something's bothering you. Please tell me," he whispered. Rhiannon tossed her bear across the room and collapsed in his arms. Then, she began to sob.

"I'm starting to forget Papa! I'm starting to love Uncle Lance," she sobbed. John gently rubbed her back.

"What are you starting to forget?" he asked. She sighed.

"His special name for me, the way his voice sounded, just little things that mean the world to me," she said, crying. John sighed. Nobody had ever told him that being a parent was easy. "You're moving on! Why can't I?"

"Rhia," he murmured, taking a chance. She glanced into his eyes. "Randy, Papa, loved you more than anyone else on this world. You were his princess. He had a way with you that I never had."

"Daddy, is it okay to love Uncle Lance?" she asked, drying her eyes.

"Of course, Rhia. I love Papa. I REALLY like Lance. You can love someone who's no longer with us and not be afraid to love again." he said. "Do you mind if I call you Rhia? It was Papa's special nickname for you."

"No, Daddy," she murmured, "Thank you for telling me. I had forgotten and that scared me...ALOT"

"John!" Lance shouted. "Get down here! We have a problem!" Glancing over to Rhiannon, John jumped up.

"Rhiannon, stay here," he said, rushing downstairs.

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Thank you for all the reviews! I can't believe how much support my stories get. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

JenLea

Read, Review but most of all...ENJOY!


	5. Problems at the Front Line

Go On

_Problems at the Front Line_

Disclaimer: I own no one!

A/N- I can't find any solid custody law information. So, (a) help me if you can and (b) I apologize in advance

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John saw Lance at the bottom of the stairs holding a thick packet of papers. It wasn't opened, but he was staring at the cover, a mixture of shock and disbelief, plainly on his face.

"What's wrong?" he asked, running down the stairs. Lance showed him the blue paper cover. "John Cena-Orton VS. Robert Orton in the matter of custody for Jane Doe, ten year old minor?" John began to shake violently. No, this wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening.

"Relax," Lance murmured, slipping his arms around him. "This doesn't mean we're losing her," Gently, he rubbed John's back, an effort to calm him down. John refused to calm down. Nobody could take his daughter. She was he had left of the love he had shared with Randy. "Did you see Bob when you were in St. Louis?"

"Very briefly. I ran into him at the cemetery. Why would he sue for custody?" he asked. "Does he hate me that much?"

"He sees you as the reason his son became gay. In his mind, you're the reason he had to disown his son." Lance said. "Now, he wants to prevent the same thing from happening to his grandaughter," The way Lance explained it made a lot of sense.

"How did you find out Darrin was sick?" John asked, noting the pictures lining the fireplace. Lance sighed. Darrin was a touchy subject. Yet, with John, he didn't mind talking about him.

"He came right out and told me. 'I will go out with you. Just know I am HIV positive.' He survived ten years. I was with him for six of those years. Towards the end, he was pretty bad off. I can't tell you how many nights I spent in the hospital watching him fight off pneumonia. All I can say is this. For most AIDS patients, AIDS doesn't kill. It's the complications of AIDS." Lance explained. "I miss Darrin so much,"

"I miss Randy," John remarked. "What am I going to do?" John began to rock back and forth. He couldn't be losing Rhiannon. She was all he had.

"Did Randy leave you her in his will?" Lance asked, trying to figure out how to help him. John nodded. "We need a lawyer," John looked at him.

"What do you mean?" he asked, struggling not to cry. Lance sighed. How could he even begin to tell John how he felt?

He couldn't let John go through this alone. Letting him go through this alone would have been cruel. He hated seeing John in pain over what his idiotic in-law did to him. John had told him about the pain Bob Orton had put Randy through when he was dying. John had told him about how Bob Orton had disowned Rhiannon, simply because his son was gay. He wouldn't let Bob Orton hurt John again.

"I love Rhiannon, like she's my own. I don't agree with what this man's doing to you. Simply put, I will stay with you through it all. I'm sick of watching the ones I love suffer, because of a cruel God, and because people are too ignorant to realize love is love, no matter which way you slice it," he said. With those words, John lost it. He began to cry.

Why did Bob Orton insist on hurting him over and over again? Why was that man so intent on making his life miserable? Randy was gone. Nothing would change that. Bob Orton had been the one who had insisted on not seeing his dying son. He had forbid his wife from seeing him. Everything that had caused Randy pain had been because his father simply couldn't accept the fact his son was gay.

"What am I going to do? I can't lose Rhiannon. She's my world. Look at her. She's Randy all over." John murmured, Lance holding him. Rhiannon didn't need to see him like this.

"Rhiannon!" Lance called. Rhiannon rushed downstairs. "Do me a favor," She nodded. "Could you go next door and tell Auntie Trish we need to see her? Then, can you play with Lian outside in the backyard?" She nodded, running out the backdoor. "Relax, John. You're going to be okay,"

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Sorry, if anyone's crying. It got a little more emotional than I meant it, too. Hope you enjoyed it!

JenLea

Read, Review but most of all...ENJOY!


	6. Messages of Love

Go On

_Messages of Love_

Disclaimer: I own no one except Rhiannon!

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Until the custody papers had come in, John Cena had been on the road to recovery. He had finally allowed himself to lower the barrier around his heart. He finally allowed himself to love again.

Now, he was slowly going mad.

In the dark of night, he swore he saw Randy out of the corner of his eye. In the wind, he swore he heard Randy's voice, telling him everything was going to be alright. Dark roses appeared in odd places. Roses had always been a sign of Randy's love for John.

Some days, John was fine. Other days, he knew there was no way he was seeing his dead husband and he was obviously going mad.

"Lance, if I tell you something, do you promise not to laugh and say I'm crazy?" John asked, watching Rhiannon write in her journal. She sat under a huge elm tree. His head was in Lance's lap.

"Of course," Lance said. He knew John was under a great deal of stress, and just needed to talk.

"I think I'm going crazy," he muttered. Lance glanced down at him.

"Why do you say that?" he asked, watching Rhiannon. Over the fence, he could see Chris playing with Lian. It was a surreal scene. A typical early evening in a typical neighborhood.

"At night, I see Randy. I don't get a very good look at him, and it's just out of the corner of my eye. When the wind blows, I swear I hear his voice. I'm seeing dark roses everywhere. What is wrong with me?" John asked. He truly thought he was crazy. A leave landed on the porch. Lance sighed.

"Thank you for proving my point," he murmured. John glanced up at him. Who was he talking to? Had Lance gone crazy?

"Who are you talking to?" John asked. Lance sighed. He knew this was going to be an interesting concept to explain.

"Darrin. He's always around." Lance said. John nodded. That made sense to a degree. "You and Randy had roses. Darrin and I had leaves. It was a joke. I hated raking leaves. Everytime I'd rake them, they'd just pile back up again. So, when we started dating, he asked me the chore I hate to do. I said 'raking leaves'. As a joke on our next date, he gave me a leaf. He called it a token of love. From then on, if we had a stupid argument, one of us would inevitably give a leaf to the other. The day he died was the day the trees shed their leaves. I never figured out if that was just a coincidence. All I know is I find leaves in the strangest locations. In the car when there isn't a tree in sight. On my pillow. I truly believe when the ones we love die, they try to show us they still love us,"

"Are you trying to tell me Randy's trying to tell me everything's going to be alright?"John asked. Lance nodded. It seemed odd in logic. In theory, it made sense.

John got up and ran up to his room. The letter Trish had given him a month prior remained unopened. Now was a perfect time to open it.

Sitting on the bed, he slit it open and silently began to read.

_12/25/09_

_Dear John,_

_Merry Christmas, Babe. You have gone home to spend Christmas with Rhiannon, just like I wanted you to. She deserves to have one of us with her on Christmas morning. I am in the hospital, with another case of pneumonia. This sucks._

_I'm trying to get all my finances and what not in order. I don't have much longer. I'm not afraid to die. Death is only a new adventure._

_If you're reading this, it means I am gone and you have fallen in love again. I have asked Trish to hold this letter until that time._

_Babe, I wanted you happy in life. I know you're probably miserable after my death. I never wanted to see you like this. Please allow yourself to love again._

_Life will be a struggle. I know you, C. You'll be able to survive the struggle, even when things seem impossible. When things seemed impossible, you took my hand and walked me through the struggle. I will love you forever, for all you've ever done for me. _

_I want you happy after my passing. I want Rhiannon happy after my passing. Don't be afraid to love again. Love is a great emotion that fuels the world. _

_Be happy. Let your heart loose. I love you, Babe._

_Love,_

_Randy_

John shook his head. Even after death, Randy was helping him cope with the strain of the world.

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Leaves from nowhere, roses everywhere. Hopefully, I didn't offend anyone by using supernatural elements, Hope you enjoyed it!

JenLea

Read, Review but most of all...ENJOY!


	7. Time for Court

Go On

_Time for Court_

Disclaimer: I only own Rhiannon! I own no one else.

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"You okay?" Lance asked, staring at the courthouse. John squeezed his hand. He needed all the strength he could get. This wasn't going to be easy.

John tried to be optimistic. He tried to tell himself there was no way the judge would give custody to the homophobic Bob Orton. He tried to tell himself Rhiannon would come home where she belonged. Yet, he knew there was a very real chance that he would lose Rhiannon.

"Have a seat," Jill Edwards, their lawyer said. John sat beside Lance. He gripped his hand, not letting go. "We have your character witnesses. We have the letters Bob Orton wrote to his deceased son. We may have a chance to win this case." John nodded.

Lance hated seeing John in so much pain. Just a month prior, he had been ready to invest his heart in a new relationship. Just a month prior, he had been laughing like Lance hadn't heard in years. Now, John was back to his quiet, emotional state.

"Come on," Jill said, moving towards the courtroom. Lance stood up, pulling John with him. John followed him. Then, they sat down.

Lance couldn't believe Bob Orton would be so petty. His son had died. It was sad. Why was that grounds to harm the one who had made his son so happy in life?

"Ms Edwards, your opening statement," the judge said, glancing towards them. Jill stood up and approached the bench.

"Your honor, I intend to show that the child is best left where she is. She has lived with this man, John Cena since the day she was born. She is the biological child of John's deceased husband, Randy. John and Randy were Rhiannon's parents by all definitions of the word. Then, Randy tragically passed from cancer. Not once during Rhiannon's ten years of life has Bob Orton tried to contact her. Not once as he seen Rhiannon. Thank you,"

"Mr. Stanley, your opening statement," the judge said, glancing towards Bob's lawyer, James Stanley. The lawyer stood up.

"Your Honor, I intend to show that Rhiannon will do best with her biological grandparents. She is a young girl, impressionable. She needs a female role model. She's reaching those crucial years where she will need a woman's guidance. Not to mention the fact biological family is the best family you can have. Thank you,"

John's mind was a blur of thoughts. He had no clue what was going on. Rhiannon was back at the hotel with Chris and his children. Could he really get used to a world without her in it?

Lance knew John was thinking too clearly. He knew John's mind was far from the courtroom. He just wished there was something he could do. John was such a vibrant man. The man sitting next to him wasn't John. He looked much older than his thirty-eight years. He was literally a shell of the John Cena he had been getting to know.

"Ms Edwards, your first witness," the judge said. Jill stood up.

"For my first witness, I call Patricia Irvine," she said. Trish silently walked towards the stand. "Have a seat," The bailiff swore her in, and the questioning began. "Mrs. Irvine, what is your relationship to my client?"

"I'm his neighbor, I was his husband's best friend, I was the surrogate mother for his daughter, I'm Rhiannon's Godmother, John's my daughter Lian's Godfather," Trish replied.

"So, you were there when Randy passed?" Jill asked. Trish sighed.

"I was there throughout his battle with cancer, but I wasn't actually in the room when he died. I was down the hall with Rhiannon," Trish replied.

"Do you trust John with your children?" Jill asked.

"Of course! John's one of the few people I trust with my girls. I had some fertility problems, and I adopted my daughter, Lian from China and just had twin girls about a month ago, Ryleigh and Randi. I'm overprotective, but without a doubt, John is one of the few people I trust with my girls,"

"Could you describe John's parenting style?" Jill asked.

"Alone, with Randy or with Lance?" Trish responded.

"Let's start with alone," Jill said.

"Alone, John is slightly overprotective, but he's not strict. He has rules but Rhiannon's allowed to explore her world as long as she's hurting someone or herself. She has more freedom than a typical ten-year-old,"

"With Randy?"

"When Randy, my best friend, was alive, John was forced to be a little stricter than he is now."

"Why?"

"Rhiannon was Randy's little Princess. She could get away with murder, with Randy. John didn't want her getting spoiled, or thinking the world revolved around her. Although, in Randy's eyes, it did,"

"What about with Lance?"

"Lance is very much like John. He allows Rhiannon to explore the world around her. They make an effective pair. She knows if Lance says no to something, don't run to Daddy and ask. She knows if Daddy says no to something, don't run to Lance and ask,"

"So, in your opinion, is John a good parent?" Jill asked.

"Yes. If you could see the evolution he's undergone over the past ten years, you'd see why Rhiannon's such a wonderful young lady,"

"No further questions, Your Honor," Jill sat down.

"Mr. Stanley, your witness," The other lawyer stood up.

"Mrs. Irvine, did Rhiannon recently break her arm?"

"Yes, she did,"

"How?"

"She fell out of a tree,"

"Why was she in a tree?"

"She was climbing it,"

"Was there adult supervision?"

"Yes. Mr. Stanley, children get hurt. My daughter broke her wrist, falling off the couch. Does that make me a bad parent?"

"Alright. Do you think growing up in a house of men has had an adverse effect on her?"

"If anything, it has made her stronger. That little girl has been through more in her ten years of life than most people experiance in thirty years. She almost didn't survive birth, she lost one of her fathers at age four, she's been teased and tormented because she has two dads, she's scared to death that she will be forced to leave Daddy. If anything, John Cena's love for Rhiannon is the only thing that's kept her going,"

"No further questions, Your Honor," The other lawyer sat down.

"Mrs. Irvine, you may stand down," the judge said. Trish stood and walked to the back of her courtroom.

Lance felt John shaking violently. Squeezing his hand, he tried to convey a simple message.

_Everything would be alright._

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I apologize if this is a stereotypical courtroom scene. It's hard to make something realistic if you can't find adequate info. Hope you enjoyed it!

JenLea

Read, Review but most of all...ENJOY!


	8. Out with Daddy

Go On

_Out with Daddy_

Disclaimer: I own no one!

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Rhiannon was miserable. She hated Missouri. She missed Canada. She missed her best friend. It didn't help that she was facing the very real possibility of losing 'Daddy'.

"Rhiannon, do you want to go out?" John asked, entering her hotel room. They had checked into the penthouse suite of a plush hotel. She had her own room. The room was where she spent most of her time.

"Sure, Daddy," she said, slipping into her black combat boots. John bit his lower lip. She had gone right back to wearing all black. She barely spoke. The custody battle was affecting her.

John hated seeing her like this. He wanted her to go back to the way she used to be. A happy ten-year-old, sure of where she belonged. Smiling, laughing.

"Just us?" she asked, zipping up her black sweatjacket. John nodded. "Great," She grabbed his hand. Glancing down, he noticed her fingernails were painted black.

"Of course! What would you like to do?" he asked. She squeezed his hand. "Anything you want in reason," Rhiannon sighed.

"Can we go for ice cream and visit Papa?" she asked. John nodded. That was doable. She smiled quickly. John sighed. Every now and then, she would do something and give him a glimpse of how she used to be.

When Randy had died, Rhiannon had stopped being a kid. She would stress about losing John, which had been foreseeable. She would comfort John as he cried. She had lost interest in her favorite toys. Lance had noticed this, and had started trying to give her her childhood back. John had also snapped out of his grief. Rhiannon was so much like Randy that it helped him cope. With ice cream and playgrounds, she had loosened up and had started being a kid again.

"How's your arm?" he asked, glancing down at her purple cast. She shrugged.

"It's sore. Daddy, are they really going to make me live with that man?" she asked, nibbling on a mint ice cream cone. John turned his head, to hide his tears. How was he going to answer her question? Should he lie? Should he tell her the truth and break her heart?

"Possibly. We don't know. I'll never stop fighting for you, if it comes down to it," he said. She gazed into his eyes. He blinked, stunned. Looking into her eyes was like looking into Randy's eyes. She reached out and touched his hand.

"You're my Daddy. Why can't people just leave us alone? We've finally healed from losing Papa. I wanted to spend my tenth birthday with my family at home. I'm glad I have my family with me though," she said. John sighed. She knew what her priorities were.

They got into a taxi. Rhiannon remained quiet. She kept her grip on John's hand. At the cemetery, John paid the driver. Rhiannon ran ahead. He kept a close eye on her.

Some people would have been overprotective, never letting their child out of their sight. John knew Rhiannon could never live like that. She had Randy's love of life. She was never afraid to be herself.

"Daddy, look!" Rhiannon called, pointing to Randy's grave. "Look!" John glanced to the grave. Were they hallucinating? What was going on? Was somebody playing a cruel joke?

"Rhiannon, am I seeing things?" he asked. She shook her head.

"Not unless I am! What do you think?" she asked, staring at the grave in disbelief. "I thought once you were dead, you couldn't come back or talk to living people!" She began to shake. John held her. Neither were able to believe what they were seeing.

"Sweetie, I think it's a sign," he said. She glanced up at him. What did he mean?

"What do you mean?" she asked. John gulped. He knew just how to explain it.

"Sweetie, the spirits are trying to tell us everything's going to be alright," he said. Suddenly, it didn't make sense. Just seconds before, it had made a lot of sense. Now, he was back to stunned disbelief.

John wasn't sure what was going on, but he took it as a sign that everything would work out.

For laying on the top of Randy's gravestone was a leave and a rose together.

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I don't often put two chapters up in one day, but this is just screaming to be put up. Hope you enjoyed it.

JenLea

Read, Review but most of all...ENJOY!


	9. Hold On, My Heart

Go On

_Hold on, My Heart_

Disclaimer: I own no one!

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_Daddy, go out. I'll be fine with Aunty Trish, Uncle Chris and the girls. This can be my birthday present! _

Rhiannon's words rang through his head. He couldn't believe how mature she was. She had pushed him out the door with a fully stocked picnic basket, insisting he take Lance.

Rhiannon had never shown any problems towards the fact she had two dads. In fact, she seemed proud of it. The one time he had taken the time to ask her how she felt about it, she had just rolled her eyes and said 'Daddy, having two dads makes me special. I like being special,' She considered Lance one of her dads. The one time Lance had decided to ask why she felt that, she had rolled her eyes, hugged him and simply said ' Because. Papa died when I was little. Since he died, you've been like a father to me.'

Lance glanced across the blanket. He seemed to be deep in thought. John closed his eyes, in an effort to memorize every detail of Lance's face. He wasn't sure why, but he just wanted to do it.

The last time he had ever felt this way about somebody was with Randy. Everything he had experianced with Randy was happening once more.

"You okay?" John asked, closing his eyes. Lance nodded slowly. Opening his mouth, he began to speak.

"This is a new experiance for me. The last time I was on a date was with Darrin. It feels so weird to be seeing someone else. No offense, John." Lance murmured, sipping a glass of wine. John nodded. It was understandable. After all, he felt strange as well.

"Look at the stars. Aren't they pretty?" John asked. Lance leaned back and glanced up. John was right. The stars seemed especially gorgeous. "You know, some people say stars are the souls of people gone before their time," Lance nodded. He had heard the same thing.

"John, I'm afraid," Lance blurted out. John looked at him. Unsure of what to say, he nodded, just listened. "I haven't felt like this in a long time. I'm afraid if I let my heart off guard, you're going to leave or die. I'm afraid to take that risk," John nodded.

There was so much he wanted to tell Lance. He wanted to tell Lance that nothing in life is certain. Things can change in an instant. You can be here one minute and gone the next. Because of that, you should live life to the fullest.

He wanted to tell Lance that love was the greatest emotion in the world. It was special.

Instead, he looked at Lance and slowly murmured the words that would break his heart.

"Maybe, we're not as ready as we thought we were. I know what you're feeling. You're afraid of putting your heart on the line, you feel as if you're betraying the one you lost, you're wondering if life will ever go back to normal, and if you'll ever be able to love as fully as you once did,"

"I don't know!" Lance exclaimed, his voice growing louder. "I just don't know," Then, he sighed. "Come over here," John stood up, and moved beside Lance. The other man gently slipped his arm around John's waist. "It scares me how deeply I love you. The last time I felt this way, I met Darrin. I had to watch him suffer for six years. I don't want to love that deeply, only to lose you again,"

"Me, too. What can I say?" John murmured, leaning into Lance's arms. His heart was impatient, which influenced his mind. "Lance, I don't plan on going anywhere any time soon," Lance sighed. Why couldn't John understand? They had both been through the same situation! Why was John so naive?

It wasn't that John was naive. He was far from it, in fact. He knew exactly how Lance felt. He felt the exact same way. Yet, he didn't want the feelings to influence him. He wanted to experiance love again.

"Would you like to take this slowly?" John asked, squeezing Lance's hand. Slowly, Lance nodded, returning the squeeze.

"Yes. Is that alright?" Lance asked.

"Of course!" John exclaimed. Then, he looked to Lance. "May I kiss you?" Lance closed his eyes and struggled not to snicker.

"So much formality," he said, grinning. Cupping John's face, he gently pressed his lips to his. Every emotion Lance had just desribed was enclosed in that kiss. Love, fear, uncertainty. There was a new emotion as well.

Hope.

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Alright, in case you're curious about the chapter title, when I was typing this, I was listening to Launchcast and 'Hold On My Heart' by Genesis was playing. I don't know. The title seemed right!

JenLea

Read, Review but most of all...ENJOY!


	10. Hold On for One More Day

Go On

_Hold on for One More Day_

Disclaimer: I own no one!

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Rhiannon closed her eyes, upset with what John had just told her. She would be spending the day with Bob Orton, her grandfather and her aunt and uncle. She hated that idea! They weren't her family. She had never met them. She had never SPOKEN to them.

"Be strong," John had told her. He was acting very strangely. For once, he had been encouraging her to wear black. He had bought her the combat boots he had previously said no to. Rhiannon wasn't a hundred-percent sure but she felt that she knew why John was acting so strangely.

She had worn black combat boots, baggy black jeans and a black t-shirt. Her fingernails were freshly painted black. Her blonde hair had been dyed a temporary shade of black.

"Rhiannon, you look so...INTERESTING," Bob murmured, catching sight of his granddaughter. Rhiannon sighed. She could tell he was disgusted. "Don't worry. We can get you new clothes and everything!" She rolled her eyes. She liked being dressed this way.

She hated life. She hated God for putting Daddy through so much grief. She had been taught that God was merciful. She had been taught that God was good to good people. She didn't believe any of that. Papa had been a good person. He hadn't needed to die. What about Daddy? He gave her everything she wanted. He treated her well. Why was God punishing him?

Bob took her by the hand. Rhiannon bit her lip and kept silent. She refused to talk to him. He wasn't nice. She could sense that much. She may have been only ten but she wasn't stupid.

"We can get you a nice pink t-shirt," Bob said, squeezing her hand. Rhiannon wondered if it would be too much to 'accidentally' stick her sharpened nails into his hand. "Maybe a nice manicure. We can get pink nails,"

What was Bob's obsession with the color pink? Rhiannon wondered. She hated the color pink. It was overly feminine. It was...GIRLY. If there was anything Rhiannon Keith Cena-Orton WASN'T, it was girly.

"Thank you but no thank you. I'm perfectly happy, looking like a freak," she said, biting her lip to refrain from cursing. Bob closed his eyes. Obviously, they had brainwashed his granddaughter into being a freak. Look what gay people had done to her!

"Alright. Would you at least let me buy you something?" he asked. Rhiannon nodded. She could agree to that.

Once in the mall, she immediately dragged Bob and his other children, Nathan and Becky into Hot Topic. Bob was disgusted by some of those outfits. How could she wear this stuff? She was an innocent little girl! Look at how she had been corrupted!

Rhiannon could sense Bob hated Daddy. She could sense how deep a hatred he held. If there was one thing she hated, it was hatred of any kind.

She had always known her family was different. Everyone had a mom and a dad. She had always had two dads. She had faced many kinds of hatred because of it.

She had grown tired of hatred.

"Rhiannon, what can we get you?" Bob asked, dragging her into a store where the main color seemed to be pink. Rolling her eyes, she reached for a black faux leather choker. "Get something pink. You are a girl and you must act like one,"

Rolling her eyes, Rhiannon reached for a tube of lip gloss. It was pink, but it was her brand. She hated this man with a passion.

Bob closed his eyes. Rhiannon needed to be feminine. She couldn't act masculine. She needed to be a girly girl.

Rhiannon ran ahead. She wanted to go home. She wanted to be with Daddy. He allowed her to be herself without forcing her to look and act feminine.

A chill went up her spine. She paused and glanced around. Then, she realized something.

The background music was playing softly. Sighing, she caught a glimpse of the words.

The group name was unknown, but they were singing about holding on for one more day. She couldn't believe this music had started playing at that exact moment.

She shook her head, moving to return to Bob. She could do it.

She could hold on.

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In case you were wondering, the song playing in the shopping center is called 'Hold On' by Wilson-Phillips. I believe that is the name of it. If I'm wrong, feel free to correct me.

Enjoy!

JenLea

Read, Review but most of all...ENJOY!


	11. Fear in Me so Deep

Go On

_Fear in Me so Deep_

Disclaimer: I own no one!

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John waited for Lance. He couldn't figure out why the man seemed to spend an hour in the shower. It had always been like that. John was almost always ready before him.

"Lance, we need to get going!" John called, banging on the bathroom door. "We're going to be late!" Not two seconds later, Lance walked out of the bathroom. He held a white towel around his waist.

"Relax, Babe." Lance said, fumbling through the suitcase. "We'll get there in plenty of time," He slipped into a pair of boxer shorts. Closing his eyes, he realized John was nervous.

"I know! My life depends on this verdict," he said, checking his watch. "What if I lose her? What if I have to leave Canada?" He babbled mindlessly. Gently, Lance set his hand on John's shoulder.

"Babe, I may DESPISE Missouri, but if you have to move here, I will GLADLY sell my house and move here with you," Lance said. John's eyes widened. He would do that? Why? That had been his house for close to fifteen years. Darrin had died in the house.

"Why? That house holds a lifetime of memories," John murmured. Lance sighed, struggling to tie his tie.

"What is a house if you aren't with the one you love?" he asked, sighing. "I may want to take things slowly, but that doesn't mean I want to live without you,"

"I see," John said. Slowly, he was understanding. "I can't believe we may lose Rhiannon. I don't even want to begin imagining life without her in it,"

"Be optimistic," Lance murmured, sticking his arm around John's waist. "Ready?"

"Yeah," he said. Anxiously, he pecked Lance on the cheek. "Let's hope the judge sees Bob for what he is," Lance glanced to him.

"What is he?" Lance asked. John sighed.

"A racist, sexist homophobe," John said, moving swiftly through the penthouse. Rhiannon was locked in her bedroom. She had been offered the chance to come to court and had said no.

They drove to the courthouse in absolute silence. John was too nervous to speak. Lance respected John's wish for silence.

Jill met them at the front doors. John sighed, knowing this was it. Once he stepped into the courtroom, his life would change forever. Once he stepped into the courtroom, nothing would ever be the same.

"I know you're nervous," Lance murmured, squeezing his hand. John nodded. It wasn't so much that he was nervous. If anything, he was afraid.

Sitting down, he glanced to the judge. Her expression was unreadable. John hoped this was a good sign.

"Well, I have never had a more difficult judgement to make," the judge said. "Clearly, everyone has the best interests of the child at hand. I have reached a verdict. Please rise," Lance and John stood up, along with Jill. "In the matter of custody of Rhiannon Cena-Orton, I grant joint custody of the child to her grandfather, Robert Orton and her other father, Jonathan Cena. The specific agreement will be determined by the individual parties. We'll revisit this matter in one year," She banged her gavel.

John's heart fell. He had been dreading a verdict like this. Bob would try to brainwash her. He would do everything in his power to turn her into a racist homophobe. He would do everything in his power to turn her against him.

"John, don't worry. The verdict isn't final. I plan to appeal." Jill said. "Besides, there's one more card I can play,"

"Please. I don't even want to think about what Bob would do," John said, Lance holding him. "I don't want him hurting our daughter,"

Lance heard exactly what John said. In fact, it had caught him off guard.

"Our?" he asked. John nodded slowly.

"You don't mind, do you?" John asked. Lance shook his head.

"She's practically my daughter. You're right," Lance said. "We'll survive. That's all I can say. We'll survive,"

It may not have been the best arrangement but at least, they got to see Rhiannon on a regular basis. It could have been worse.

They could have lost her permanently.

That would have been the worst.

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Thank you to RKOxLEGENDKILLER for suggesting the title of this chapter.

I know I said this story was the last installment, but I have to ask. Would anyone be interested in a fic about how John and Randy fell in love? Just an idea, but comments are appreciated,

JenLea

Read, review but most of all . . . ENJOY!


	12. It won't be Forever

Go On

_It Won't Be Forever_

Disclaimer: I only own Rhiannon. I own no one else

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Rhiannon glanced toward John, clutching her sleeping bag. She hated what he was making her do. She was being forced to spend the night with her grandfather.

They were deep in the appeals process. Jill swore that once she got in front of a judge, her secret card would ensure Bob never saw her again. John wasn't too sure and it showed.

"Daddy, do I have to go?" Rhiannon whined, waiting. She clung to John's side. "I don't like him! He tells me bad things about you!" It broke John's heart. It made him physically ill, seeing her so miserable.

Why was she being punished?

"It won't be forever." John said, closing his eyes. Seeing Bob's car in the distance, he handed her his cellphone. "Don't let him see it, and call anytime you want," She nodded slowly.

"Daddy, I'm scared," Rhiannon admitted, slipping the phone into her backpack. "He's going to make me wear pink! He's going to tell me if I don't wear pink, I'm going to be like you," She shook with fear.

"Just be you. Besides, I don't think he's going to care about the pink thing," He gestured to her new Converse sneakers. They had a pattern of pink, black, red and white patchwork.

"Good point," she laughed. The car stopped in front of the hotel. "Bye, Daddy. I love you," She hugged John. Then, she hugged Lance. "Bye, Uncle Lance," She slid into the backseat, and waved to them, as Bob pulled out.

"Rhiannon, why must you wear black?" Bob asked. Rhiannon sighed. Then, she came up with the perfect answer.

"My therapist says it's my way to combat the stress of the custody battle," she replied, glancing at her nails. "He also says that the only way to get me back into color again is to go back to Canada," She snickered, hearing Bob growl.

"America is your home country," Bob said. Rhiannon shook her head. She loved Canada. Nothing bad had ever happened in Canada. As far as she was concerned, Canada was home.

"I don't like America! Only bad things happen in America!" she exclaimed, glancing down at him. Bob shook his head. Obviously, she had been brainwashed.

"You were born in America!" Bob exclaimed. "Technically, you're American." Rhiannon rolled her eyes.

"My heart's in Canada." Rhiannon murmured, tears filling her eyes. Why did this man insist on changing everything about her? It wasn't fair. It wasn't right.

The rest of the afternoon went as smoothly as expected. Rhiannon was bored out of her mind, but she remained tolerable. That is until dinner.

"What is this?" she asked, being presented with some unidentifiable casserole. Bob sighed.

"Macaroni casserole," he replied. She rolled her eyes. She hated macaroni casserole! Why would he make her eat this crap? "Eat up,"

Rhiannon pushed her plate away.

"I'm not hungry!" she exclaimed, pushing her plate farther away. "I don't eat crap like this," She glared at him.

"Rhiannon, you are eating that! If you have to stay here all night, you are eating that!" Bob exclaimed. Rhiannon crossed her arms over her chest and refused to eat.

True to his word, Bob made her sit there. She wasn't allowed up. She wasn't even allowed to go to the bathroom. Rhiannon was miserable, but determined to be stubborn.

"Rhiannon," her grandmother said. "Why won't you eat?" Rhiannon sighed.

"Ma'am, I wasn't raised on comfort foods. I was raised on rich, ethnic food. I can't eat things like this. I simply don't like it," she replied. She jumped, a loud thump going on overhead. "What was that?"

Her grandmother turned pale. Then, she ran upstairs.

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Alright, this fic is coming to an end soon. It'll have two, three more chapters MAXIMUM. Keep your eye out for 'Close to You', the prequel to the Sand and Water Trilogy.

-JenLea

Read, Review but most of all...ENJOY!


	13. No More Pain

Go On

_No More Pain_

Disclaimer: I own no one except Rhiannon

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The phone's shrill ring pierced the silence of the hotel room. Half asleep, Lance felt for the phone and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Uncle Lance?"

"Rhiannon? What's wrong? Why are you calling so late?"

"Is Daddy there?"

"He's next to me. Let me wake him up,"

"Why is he sharing a bed with you?"

"We'll cover that_ later_,"

"Alright."

Half asleep, Lance rolled over. He found himself staring into John's closed eyes. Gently, he shook John's shoulder.

"What?" John mumbled, rolling away from Lance.

"Wake up! Rhiannon's on the phone and it sounds urgent!" Lance whispered sharply. John grabbed the phone.

"Hello?"

"Daddy, I need you and Uncle Lance,"

"What's wrong?"

"Bob's ...DEAD!"

"What?"

"I don't know. I'm in the hospital alone, and freaked out!"

"What hospital?" He wrote down what she told him.

"Are you coming?"

"Yes, Princess. We're coming. Stay calm,"

That was easier said than done. Rhiannon hated hospitals. She had hated them since Randy's death. She hated the smell of death. She hated everything about them.

Had she somehow killed Bob with pure hate? Was that even possible?

Rhiannon despised hatred, and yet, she had allowed herself to hate Bob Orton. She had become the one thing she had despised. Why was life like that?

"Rhiannon!" John exclaimed, running up to her. "What happened?" Rhiannon burst into loud sobs.

"He died, Daddy! I think my hate killed him!" she sobbed. John rubbed her back.

"Sweetie, your hate didn't kill him. He was old, not elderly, but old," John explained. Rhiannon stopped sobbing.

"Are you telling the truth?" she asked, staring into his blue eyes. John nodded. She sighed. She Felt SO guilty!.

"Rhiannon, youdidn't kill Bob," Lance said, putting his arms around her. "Sweetie, he would have died eventually," Lance exchanged looks with John. They had to get her out of here.

Bob's wife appeared. Her face was red and tear-stained. She sighed.

"I'm sorry for all the pain Bob as put you through," she said. "He was the biased one. He wouldn't let me see Randy before he died. I have always regretted not seeing my son before he died." Then, she glanced down at Rhiannon. "Rhiannon, I made a mistake ten years ago, by not seeing you. I'm sorry, Baby. I can understand if you never want to speak to me again, but I hope you can find it in your heart one day to just call and tell me how you're doing,"

"Grandma, you're nice. You don't hate like Bob. I would be pleased to keep in contact with you," Rhiannon said, hugging her grandmother. John bit his lower lip. Tears were threatening to fall from his eyes. It was the first time Rhiannon had shown any compassion toward Randy's family. "Grandma, I want to go back to Canada. My friends are there, I love it there,"

"You wish is my command," the old woman whispered, kissing her forehead. She glanced up at John and Lance. "Boys, take good care of her. She was Randy's pride and joy."

"She's our pride and joy, too, Ma'am," Lance said respectfully. He glanced down at Rhiannon. "Ready to head back, Kiddo?"

"Can we get some food?" Rhiannon asked, grasping Lance's hand. "I'm starved!" Lance shook his head.

"Thank you," John murmured, turning to the woman he had only known for a few days. "You don't know how much you've helped my family," Then, he hugged her.

Lance and John willingly took Rhiannon to a local McDonalds restaurant. It wasn't the healthiest, but it was late, and she needed to eat.

"Daddy, I have to ask," Rhiannon murmured, nibbling a cheeseburger. John glanced to Lance. What was she going to ask? Were they going to regret answering her question? "Why were you and Uncle Lance sharing a bed?"

"Um, Um, you see," John mumbled, turning bright red. Rhiannon closed her eyes. His reaction had confirmed her suspicions. She may have only been ten years old, but she knew what sex was. "Sweetie, when two people love each other-" She cut him off.

"Never mind," she said, giggling. She LOVED making her dad uncomfortable. It was so much fun.

John shared a look with Lance. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen Rhiannon giggle like that.

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I had to kill him off! Bet you a lot of people saw that coming. Oh well, hope you enjoyed it.

-JenLea

Read, Review but most of all...ENJOY!


	14. Memories, and Conversation

Go On

_Memories, and Conversation_

Disclaimer: I own no one!

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Rhiannon slowly walked through the cemetery. John and Lance kept their distance behind her. They knew this was her time to be with Papa.

"What do you think?" John asked, watching her sit beside Randy's grave. Lance sighed.

"I think she realizes this will be the last time she can see Papa's grave before we head back," Lance replied. He slipped his arm around John's waist and lovingly laid his head on his shoulder.

Watching her parents, Rhiannon shook her head. She loved watching them together. Yet, like any normal ten-year-old, she was mildly disgusted by the thought of sex and romance.

"Papa, it's Rhia." she said, speaking to the grave. "You've been gone five years. Two weeks ago, you would have turned thirty-five. I turned ten." She sighed. Talking to a gravestone wasn't as good as talking to the real person.

"We're more alike than we realize," John murmured, realizing she was talking to the stone. "I do the same thing."

Rhiannon never believed in psychics. If they could contact the dead, why did they only do it for people they knew?

"I wish I remembered more of you," she murmured, slowly tracing the engraved letters with her index finger. A cold wind blew through the cemetery. Rhiannon closed her eyes, to shield the onset of dirt. Then, she began to remember.

_Papa! _

_What did you say, Rhiannon?_

_Papa!_

How could she be remembering this? She had only been thirteen months old!

_Randy, she's two years old. That dog's bigger than her!_

_Come on, John. She's a purebred St. Bernard. Rhiannon will love her. _

_I don't know. _

_Come on! The St. Bernard is the most gentle breed of dog._

_What's her name?_

_Bernie!_

Retreating deep into her memory, she found the vaguest shadow of

having a large dog when she was younger. She was still stunned that she was remembering this.

_Daddy, where's Papa?_

_He's in Heaven, Princess. Remember?_

_Where's Heaven? Can we go visit him? I'm sure he misses us!_

_No, Baby. We can't visit Heaven. _

Rhiannon recalled the feelings of abandonment. For the first few weeks after Randy's death, she had been angry, unable to understand why Papa had gone away.

"Papa, since Daddy started seeing Uncle Lance, I've been keeping a journal. I've been writing letters to you, to discuss what's been going on in my life," she said, opening her eyes. Turning to her latest letter, she began to read out loud.

_4/10/15_

_Dear Papa, _

_You have been gone five years, three months and twenty-five days. It seems like so long ago that you would pick me, and tell how you would never leave me. _

_The past month and a half have been pure hell. Your father tried to take me from Daddy and Uncle Lance. He tried to make me hate them. I can never forgive him for what he did to you. Don't be upset. _

_I miss you. I miss how carefree you made life. _

_Daddy and Uncle Lance are falling in love. I find it kind of disgusting, but that's only because they're always holding hands and being mushy. Yuck!_

_I'm not going to lie. Sometimes, I wonder what life would be like if you had never died. Would we still live in Massachusetts? Would we have moved back to New York? _

_I love you, Papa. I know one day we'll meet again. Thank you for being my guardian angel._

_Love always,_

_Rhiannon_

Writing letters to Randy was her way of coping with the world around

her. He was always there. He made the perfect penpal, despite the fact he couldn't write back.

"Daddy, do you think Papa can see us?" Rhiannon asked, squeezing between John and Lance. John glanced over to Lance. Rhiannon always seemed to ask the questions with no real answer.

"Of course, Sweetie. Papa is everywhere you can think of. The sun, the sky," John replied.

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Okay, just to fill you in. The next chapter will be the final one. I have chapter 1 of Close to You finished. Hope you enjoyed it!

-JenLea

Read, Review but most of all...ENJOY!


	15. A Second Chance

Go On

_A Second Chance_

Disclaimer: As usual, I only own Rhiannon.

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The sun was beginning to set. A cool Canadian night was beginning to take hold. Its spell was driving most people inside. Yet, one man was determined to not let the spell overcome him.

Lance Evers patiently wandered through the cemetery. It had been a long time since he had been there. He hadn't been to his lover's grave in many months.

Life had taken a rather strange turn. After coming back to Canada, he and John had slipped back into a normal routine with Rhiannon. The young girl had gone back to 'normal', acting like a normal tween.

Just as they had adjusted to normal routine, life interfered. Lance's old friend, Dawn Marie had called him. She informed him she was dying and needed someone to take of her unborn daughter. Knowing he had to do something, he had taken the child in. Sleepless nights and three A.M. feedings had only strengthened his relationship with John.

Spotting the granite stone, he ran up to it. Had he really once 'lived' at the stone? Had he really visited it every week? Why did that seem so long ago? Did parenting a newborn do that to you?

"Hey, Dair. Sorry I haven't been by recently. It has been slightly hectic. Nobody knows what busy is until they have to deal with a four-month-old teether, and her concerned big sister. Ryder Elizabeth was teething last night. Poor thing wouldn't stop screaming. Rhiannon was right there, to hold and comfort her." Lance said.

At one time, he had been there almost every day. He would talk to the stone, trying to tell Darrin how he was feeling. The stone was his safe haven. At the stone, he could remember Darrin how he had been years ago. At the stone, he didn't have to remember the emaciated man who could barely speak.

"We always talked about naming a girl, Ryder. You said it was the perfect sign of strength, a girl having a masculine first name and a feminine middle name,"

John was the absolute love of his life. John made getting up in the morning worth it. Yet, John wasn't Darrin.

"Some mornings, I wake up and it's as if you haven't died. I roll over, expecting to see you. When I see John, my world drops from beneath me. Then, I remember you're gone. After that, I remember how much I love John,"

Was it wrong to still love the one who had gone before? Why was it so hard to move on? Had other people been through the same difficulties?

"I still wear your ring. It's on a silver chain that I wear around my neck. I can't bear to give it up. It reminds me of you,"

John often stared at the ring around his neck. Yet, he didn't complain. He still wore the Saint medallion Trish had given him on the occasion of Rhiannon's birth. He also wore his wedding ring around his neck.

"I still have the letter you gave to me before you died. I respected your wishes about not opening it until I was ready for love again,"

Lance pulled out an envelope, yellow with age. Many times, he had been tempted to open it. Yet, he had been determined to respect Darrin's wishes.

_11/12/08_

_Dear Lance,_

_Hello, My Love. If you reading this, it means you have respected my wishes_, _and waited to read it until love came back into your life, or you disregarded my wishes and are reading this right after my death. Either way, I'm glad you're reading some of my final words. _

_I can't help but wonder who your new love is. Is it someone I know? Would I like them? What other questions can I ask? Is he young? Old? Bald? Hairy? Fat? _

_Just kidding, Love. I'm sure he's lovely. I'm glad that you have decided to move on, following my passing. I never wanted to see you miserable._

_Lance, I love you. I always have. Few men would allow love to flow when one has HIV._ _Toward the end when I started getting worse, I gave you the option to leave. _

_You didn't need to see me suffering. You didn't need to see me in pain. You still shouldn't have to. I love you. Nobody needs to see the person they love in so much pain, and discomfort. _

_I love you. Lance, you make me complete. I can't imagine spending my life without you. _

_I know it all sounds horribly cliched, but I swear every word is true._

_Lance, be happy in life. Be happy in love._

_And know I am always with you._

_Love, _

_Darrin_

Lance was stunned. It was as if getting a message from beyond the grave. He realized then how much he had missed his lover.

Then, his cellphone began to ring. Shaking his head, Lance sighed, answering it.

"Hello?"

"Babe, I think we may need to take Ryder to the hospital,"

"What now?"

"She's got a fever, she's been puking and she has diarrhea,"

"Be right there,"

"Bye,"

Kneeling before the grave, he placed a small maple leave at the stone's base. Biting his lip, he sighed.

"Well, Dair, I have to get home. The baby's sick, but I promise you I'll come back," He stood up.

Without a second thought, he walked back toward his car. His daughter and his boyfriend needed to him.

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This fic is...DONE! I know I devoted this last chapter to Lance, mainly because we see so many conversations at Randy's grave. Hope you enjoyed it and stay tuned for 'Close to You'!

-JenLea


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